Never Give Up

"But it is crooked!" This is what I heard through tears from the playroom.  Cooper likes to write down all of the dinosaurs that ever lived from A-Z onto his white board.  He does this over and over again. We have stacks of this kind of work completed on individual pieces of paper.  Papers we are forbidden to recycle, despite the fact there are nearly 50 of them. Cooper has caught wind of our slight frustration of having to do something with these pieces of paper, so he has decided to use the white board.  Good problem solving.

This morning Cooper wanted to write smaller. He also created a pattern with his markers to better organize his work.  What started to happen was, each time he wrote a dinosaur name, it started to trail into a downward curve. Each new name was increasingly worse.  Cooper erased his work twice to start over and I am certain his anxiety levels were intensifying with each "do over".  Soon the tears started, so I went into the room.  He said, "I am SO SO frustrated because my work is not straight and it keeps getting worse and worse! Pretty soon it will be a circle!".  I get it. I remember feeling that way and so I tried my best to help and encourage him.  I could have told him what an awesome job he was doing, but compliments do not help when you have a certain picture in your head as to what your project SHOULD look like.

I decided to use an index card to draw straight lines for him to write on.  Cooper was apprehensive because according to him, he should be able to do it the other way, but he tried it.  New tears were accompanied with, "now everytime I write a dinosaur name the side of my hand wipes away part of the lines below and when I fill them in, it doesn't look right!". This plan was not a success.  Meltdown.

"I am just having a really rough morning. I am SO SO frustrated!".  My response was, "maybe you should step away from this for a few moments, get something to eat, and try again later".  Yeah, that didn't work.  In the mind of someone with obsessive compulsive traits, the project is started and must be finished immediately.  I admitted to Cooper that although I remember feeling the way he was, I wasn't sure how to help him.  He said, "I have two options mom. To start ALL over again or just GIVE UP!".   I looked very seriously at him and said, "NEVER give up. That is not an option.  You can start over or find a different way to complete your task".

Cooper took a deep breath and said, "I think what I need is just some paper with lines". I suggested a notebook and thankfully found one.  He labeled the outside, "Cooper's Dinosaur Book" and proceeded to write all of the dinosaurs on earth from A-Z.  No more curved words, no more half erased lines, and no more pieces of paper floating around our house. Despite the drama. I think the morning was a success for now, and for his future.