A New Marriage

When I was pregnant with Collin, we had to take a Baptism II class.  Admittedly, Matt and I were kind of grumpy. WHY would we need to sit through ANOTHER Baptism class?! We already did it once and there isn't much to it! We trudged in and sat down. There was quite a large group of participants. Much larger than the class we took before we had Cooper. The leaders sat down and said, "this class is to help you prepare for how much your life is going to change when you add ANOTHER child to the mix". We had to talk to our spouses about how we were raised as children, how it was the same and how it was different.  We talked about what we wanted to pass on as parents and what we didn't. We were also challenged to evaluate how we already parented the children we have and what we may or may not do differently.

I think the BEST thing we walked away from was this was, "everything we do as a couple is a new marriage".  We had never thought of that before the class. Buying a new house...a new marriage.  Do we buy a car or do we NOT buy a car...a new marriage. Deciding on discipline techniques...a new marriage. Finances...a constant new marriage. Picking out furniture...a new marriage. Painting our home...a new marriage. Every decision people make as a couple becomes a new marriage.  We are constantly learning from each other.

What is our most recent marriage?  Cleaning out the extra room in our basement so that we do NOT have to rent a storage unit. We have been working on this DAILY after the children go to bed since last Sunday night. Our entire weekend will be committed to this. Matt and I usually work together pretty well, but this one is a doozy! We have different ways of completing this task playing out in our heads.  But alas, we will be just fine.  I think we have this whole marriage thing down.

I do have to say, I feel for hoarders. I am a thrower and the amount of "stuff" I have accumulated is ridiculous! I can see where they end up the way they do...

Like Mother, Like Son

 This is Me

This is Cooper

Cooper and I share more than physical similarities. He is my clone. Cooper often exclaims, "I am SO my mother's child!" and Matt is often seen shaking his head back and forth with that look of, "how can I deal with TWO of them?!".

We visited my Papa Joe a few weekends ago and Cooper saw the picture of me you see above and said, "That's me! WAIT, that can't be me!".  He nervously chuckled when I said it was me.  Then Collin came over and so we pointed to several pictures asking him, "who is that?". He answered them all correctly, "Uncle Jim!, Papa!, Chickie!" and then we pointed to the infamous picture of me and he said, "Pooper! hmmm, Pooper?". Case closed.

Having my own children has helped me learn about myself. What my temperament is, how I handle situations, what I think about and why. My children have especially helped me to ACCEPT and OWN who I am. This, I feel, has helped me relate better to not only my own children, but the children I see everyday, my family, and even my friends. 

I have mentioned before that I have always had obsessive compulsive tendencies. The most famous example was how I would draw 20 or more boats until they met my standards.  Then I would move on to houses, etc. Cooper has never shown much interest in drawing or art and even though my children can be  ANYTHING they want to be with my full support, it has secretly broken my heart. Drawing is all I ever knew. It was all I ever knew HOW to do. I didn't know how to play. Well, Cooper drew 15 turkeys last night and refused to stop until they were complete. It made me smile. What made me smile even more? Hearing Cooper PLAY. He was role-playing using his lego creations, using a story line and different voices.

I hope this means Cooper has learned that:

1. You always finish what you set out to do

2. To loosen up, have fun, and PLAY

I passed down #1 and Cooper is passing UP #2.

P.S. Cooper took his turkey drawing a step further than I used to. He thought of people he wants to mail them to. Watch your mailboxes..there are 10 lucky recipients!



A Day At Home

I am at home with Collin today. The dreaded call came in shortly after being at work this morning.  The worst phrase I could possibly hear is, "Collin threw up". Yep, that is the exact phrase I heard. When you get that phone call, your mind immediately goes in a million directions and you begin to weigh out whose day is more important. Mine or Matt's. Knowing Matt had a lengthy presentation in 15 minutes, he won. My patients were called, I packed my things and off I went to get the poor little guy.  I fear the words "throwing up". During the half marathon, another girl and I discussed how when we even so much as READ someone is throwing up, we panic. We are CONVINCED we will get sick, simply by reading it. Even IF the person is in another country. Fortunately, Collin has not thrown up while in my care and is sound asleep as I type...

Being at home is hard for me. I have a difficult time organizing myself. I have a basement full of laundry, a 6th birthday party to plan, and of course, my work from work.  Where does a person start? I have managed to dabble in everything that needs to be done. Soon it will be time to make dinner so that when Matt and Cooper get home we can eat at a decent time. I suppose it is a day for me to tie up some loose ends...a phrase that makes me chuckle. There are a lot of phrases and words that puzzle me, annoy me, and embarrass me. Matt suggested I write a blog about those phrases/words, but haven't found the time...until now. Since I am tying up loose ends and all.

Here are a few:
loose meat sandwiches, go have a bite to eat, panties, everyone and their dog, moist, damp, they are an item, sweating bullets, blouse, slacks, sweating like a pig, pulled pork sandwiches...

Because my mind often goes in a million directions when I am unable to get organized, I am reminded even more today on how disappointed I am with the rut I am in as far as running is concerned. Someone worded it perfectly to me when I questioned WHY I feel SO unmotivated! She said, "you met your goal so now what". So now what....that is the million dollar question. I miss running. I NEED running. My body needs running. My mind needs running. My most recent running shirt purchase says on the back:

Take some lessons from the roads you've traveled in life and sport...Those miles are the best terrain for self examination.

That being said, it is time to buck up, get to work, and hope Collin wakes up feeling better and refreshed. I want to see his cute smile again!

Drive-Thru Trauma

It all started last evening as I gave Matt "a look" when he took out the gallon of milk that was almost gone to pour himself a glass.  He immediately noticed "the look" and inquired. I shared that I had to be in Coggon for my first session in the morning and I HAD to be able to make myself a chai tea latte for the road.  He nicely put the milk back into the fridge.

This morning when I asked Cooper what he wanted for breakfast, he quickly responded, "let's go with cereal today. I haven't had that in awhile!". I relunctantly took out the almost empty gallon of milk and poured every last drop into his bowl.  He ate ALL of the cereal, but left behind a significant amount of milk...enough for me to make that chai tea latte. He even has one of those fancy bowls with the straw attached so he can consume the sugary substance! I sadly poured the unwanted milk down the drain and decided that I would brave Starbucks.  Starbucks DRIVE THRU.

Cooper didn't stop talking the entire drive there.  Cooper rarely stops talking. His mind is a tornado of information and questions. We approached the really long line of cars and immediately I started to become stressed.  Cooper started talking about how he wished it was summer because then we could have a picnic. "When CAN we have a picnic?" "What will we HAVE at the picnic?" "Where will we have the picnic?" and so on and so forth. I then looked into my rearview mirror and thought to myself, "that's weird, the lady behind me seems to be talking into the box. Wait that doesn't make sense. Must be the person in front of me. Wait, that doesn't make sense, I shouldn't be seeing people in FRONT of me in the REARVIEW MIRROR" and wham, it made sense. I had COMPLETELY missed THE BOX! Now I am amidst a long line of cars with nowhere to go and NOTHING ORDERED! I was instantly sweaty and turned off all vents in the car. As if turning them off wasn't enough, I had to quickly rotate them all away from me. Then I had to decide whether I wanted to just cruise through and pass the nice girl at the window, or simply tell her my situation. I wanted to cruise through but then worried they would think I was a thief...even though I hadn't ordered anything. SO, I stopped and told her what had happened and she very nicely said that it wasn't a big deal that I could order there.

I enjoyed every last drop of that chai tea latte.



Strategic Planning

I spend an incredible amount of time each day trying to avoid situations that make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe a better way of stating that is to say, I spend an incredible amount of time each day trying to find better options to situations so I feel LESS uncomfortable.

I have NEVER tried the drive-up option at a bank.  I was a passenger once and it stressed me out.  There is this tube and you have to wait for it to arrive and then put the items you want inside. Then you have to  return it properly and push a button so it sucks back into its machine to reach the bank teller. Then you can never SEE the bank teller, only hear them. This is something that challenges me, which is why I rarely go through drive-thru.

This is all very simple. I just go inside of the bank when I need something and that is that. Not in my world.  I am CONVINCED every teller in every Veridian Credit Union thinks I am strange because I come in for the littlest things. To cash ONE check, or to deposit ONE item, when clearly I could just drive up and try the tube deal. This is where the strategic planning comes into play. I don't always go to the same Veridian. I make sure I spread my visits evenly throughout the various sites so the tellers don't feel the need to say, "I don't know why she doesn't just drive up and do that". I also try to find a reason, other than to cash or deposit a check, to make my visit more reasonable. Pretty certain my children have the best investments and savings accounts ever...

I know this is all very ridiculous and quite frankly there is NO reason why ANY teller would remember me, no matter how much  I come inside.  Now Hallmark, on the other hand, they DO know me by my first name, they know the names of my children, ages of my children, their birthdates, and that my husband has not been in for awhile...THAT is something I should be embarrassed about.



The Bucket List

I think we all have some sort of a bucket list...a list of things we would like to accomplish before we "kick the bucket".  One of the things on my list is to run a half marathon. When I started to run, or walk/jog rather, it was in 2006.  I had gained 50 some pounds while pregnant with Cooper and figured I better make a plan to get back into shape after he was born. Being able to make it to the end of the block was a struggle....now I am in the final stages of preparing for my very first half marathon, which will be next Sunday. I never thought that running could not only be enjoyable, but such an important thing to do in my life.  Running means something different to everyone...some loathe it (I used to be that person), some run to make sure they can eat and maintain a healthy weight, and some run as a stress reliever. There are many more reasons I am certain.

I run so I can be healthy, mentally and emotionally centered, and a good communicator with Matt. It wasn't always this way. I used to dread every step I took, it made me mentally and emotionally un-centered, and I would, quite frankly, be a grump at Matt when he would try to "coach" me. Then there was something humbling about participating in a 5K and having my 78 year old grandfather cheer me through the finish line...after he finished his OWN 5K 10 minutes before me. It used to take me AGES to finish a 5K, never really running/jogging the whole thing, and my forehead was always full of frown lines.

Something happened, at some point, where I stopped focusing on the difficulty of the run, and started to focus on the happiness it brings my grandfather when Matt and I run a race with him and the excitement Matt has for me when I finish.  To run a 7 mile race step for step with my grandfather and cross that finish line TOGETHER is something I will never forget. It doesn't matter how quickly you run, it is the feeling of the finish that matters. 

I have started to focus on the support of Matt.  How when I have a bad day and he says, "go for a run and have some time for yourself. You will feel SO much better when you are done" and then when I come home and he says, "you did awesome!"...whether I really did or not. Matt has spent a lot of this year running by my side in races.  Although his pace pushes me to the point of saying "I don't think I can do this!!!" there is something about him supporting me and offering that thumbs up every so often and reminding me, "you've got this". Most people know I am not a hugger.  I stiffen up almost immediately when people lean in for a hug...but when I finish a race, hugs for Matt!  The adrenaline helps me, "take it down a notch", and be ready to just TALK and COMMUNICATE.  I feel refreshed and ready to give my full attention to Cooper and Collin and make better decisions for the week.

I have really become aware of the levels of support out there.  Some people just plain don't care and that is OK. Some people act like they don't care, but secretly they do.  Then there is the group of people who come out of the woodwork with such support and encouragement that it is overwhelming...in a good way of course.  Trail people are nice...everyone on that trail will smile and wave...we have a commonality...we are trying to be healthy. We are not competing. I have friends who check in often and who offer words of encouragement and those who run along side of me.  Friends who say, "you can do this!" and humor me by answering questions while we run such as, "what is easier, this or childbirth?!".  We both agreed childbirth today by the way.  My dear running pal Falon ran her first marathon today and I couldn't wait to get the texts that kept me updated on her run. It is never about competing against each other, but rather supporting each other and doing better for OURSELVES.  We check in to make sure a blister is healing OK and how a recent run went.

I run to see the smile on my grandfather's face (whom is 80 and still going strong each race)...I run because it makes Matt and I have a better marriage...I run to meet new amazing people....I run to learn that people who have always been in my life at some point or another share a common interest...I run to encourage others...and most importantly I run because it makes ME happy, focused, and centered. It has taken me since 2006 to realize this and completing a half marathon was the furthest thing from my mind.  Here is to the final week of training and a "check" off of my bucket list...

By the way, I couldn't handle the GIANT bowl of candy on the breakfast bar anymore so I put it all into a plastic cauldron and put some pears in the bowl instead....

 

If you run or jog why?

 What is on YOUR bucket list?

Am I Being Punk'd?

It was SUCH a beautiful day today! Started it off at approximately 7:30 a.m. with a 9 mile run with my good friend Jess. This is the first time we have ever ran AND talked...it was really nice to catch up!  Anyway, after I got home, stretched, showered and shoved a few cookies into my system we headed to Anamosa for their pumpkin fest...is it pumpkin fest OR pumpkinfest?  Either way we saw some massive pumpkins! I guess that is the point of a fest filled with pumpkins...

After watching Cooper in the big wheels race we went to grab something to eat.  I couldn't wait to crack open my diet coke...

I opened it and took that first drink I had been waiting so long for and I KNEW IT, I completely KNEW IT! It tasted EXPIRED! Not caring who was watching I looked under the can and sure enough...it had expired August 22, 2011!

Then we went to a PARADE...we had JUST started to see a dent in that infamous neverending candy bowl at our house...St. Patrick's Day parade, 2 4th of July parades, Firetruck parade, and now the pumpkin parade...

And then we got MORE. Halloween is only 30 days away! This bowl will never be conquered. Ashton, where are you? Was I being punk'd today?! Are you getting a divorce or NOT?! This media frenzy has me obsessed...